Why We Don't Rest

February 9, 2016

Rest. I need it. You need it. We want it, even. But do we get enough?

I sure don’t. Not by a long shot.

And for most of the past nine or so months, I could blame my infant. Except now he’s sleeping through the night on the regular (knock on wood), so the person to blame for my lack of rest-getting?

Uh huh. It’s me.
(Dammit.)

I don’t know why I do this to myself — the late nights squandered on mindless television (hello, old episodes of America’s Next Top Model on Prime), planning on going to bed by 10 PM, only to gape in shock at the clock glowing the fact that it’s actually 11:49 PM back at me.

Oops, I say. I’ll do better tomorrow night.
And then don’t.
(Repeat ad nauseum, infinitum.)

Okay, I lied. I have an idea of why I do this to myself. It’s because I’m a mom, and I’m also a human who thrives on alone time, and those two facets of my life usually don’t blend together too well. I need my space, and I tend to take it come hell or high water, even if how I take it hurts me in both the long and short run.

And I don’t like laying my head down to sleep. I don’t like how I have to give up control every night, how I can’t just power through [anymore]. How arranging my body in my bed feels like a nightly practice for dying.

Mortality looms large for me these days. Maybe it’s because I’m a mom, anxious to keep myself well for the sake of my children, or because I’m comfortably into my mid-thirties, and old age (whatever that means) suddenly doesn’t feel that far off. But I don’t have time for rest, for dying. I’ve got things to do.

But I have to rest (dammit!). If I want to have even a prayer of keeping well, or of doing the things I both need and want to do in this life, I have to rest.

This year I’m trying to live by heart, and my heart is firm on what my brain (and my fear) doesn’t want to hear — rest is necessary. Rest is not optional. An early bedtime will feel great by the morning.

I have no answers, no nicely neat ending for this post, for this resistance. But I’m working on choosing the heart-nurturing thing.

What about you? How do you rest well (or not)? I'd love to leave your thoughts in the comments.

{Originally posted on Instagram.}

How to Transform Discomfort to Strength

February 9, 2016

“Even though February was the shortest month of the year, sometimes it seemed like the longest.” ― J.D. Robb

Well. It's February.

Each February, I find myself giving myself a pep talk about how Februaries aren't all that bad, really.

C'mon, I tell myself. It's not that bad. A little cold, sure, which has gotten quite old by this point. But it's a short month, and soon March will be here, and that will mean that it's practically spring.

And yet it kind of does feel that bad. Overly long, inspire of its dearth of days, dreary, and not all too warm (here in Montana, anyway). I'm ready for the sun warming my bared shoulders, for sandals and tank tops without any jackets, for naked feet pressing into the earth.

But

it's not that time of year for us [yet].

So I'm trying really hard to practice being in the here and now, no matter how much I may dislike it or long for spring or feel uncomfortable. (Doesn't putting it like that make such an endeavor seem so much easier than it actually is? In reality, this kind of works makes me feel like a rookie in the big leagues.)

But I've been having lots of opportunities for pressing into the uncomfortable. One of the biggest of which is my reason for being mostly absent online in the past couple of months -- I've been working on becoming a certified OULA (sassy dance fitness for body, mind, and soul) teacher. And now I am one! I just learned this weekend that I passed my audition and that I'm in. What a relief and a joy!

And what a journey. A good one, but not one without discomfort. First there was attending the training weekend (on no sleep, might I add, thanks to a puking toddler), and then teaching my first song there. Then I taught my first song in a real class, and then a few songs, and then a whole class all by myself. And even now that I'm certified, there are new challenges ahead -- getting insured, applying to be a sub at gyms, and bringing in students so I don't find myself in the red with space rentals, to name a few.

I take in a lot (a lot) of articles/podcasts/videos/blog posts on being an online entrepreneur, and read a lot of inspiring success stories. But something that I feel too many of these stories gloss over is the discomfort involved -- the discomfort of trying, of failing, and even of succeeding.

Every positive opportunity comes with its shadow side of discomfort, of nervousness, maybe even of fear and anxiety. This is true for me, and I'm guessing I'm not the only one. So if you've been dismayed or surprised by the difficulties that come with even the good things in your life, you're not alone.

Press into the discomfort, don't walk away from the good in order to avoid the discomfort. By sticking with it, by facing at what's hard while celebrating what's great, you will eventually transmute that uncomfortable aspect into strength.

What kind of strength? It depends on what the opportunity in question is. For me, in pressing forward through my OULA training instead of fleeing when it got hard or [really damn] scary, I gained courage to perform in front of an audience. I discovered that it's not too late for me to be a dancer. And -- perhaps best of all -- I've regained a great deal of vocal power by pressing into the challenge of singing, shouting, and generally making a ruckus while teaching a class.

So if you're walking through a door into a spacious new opportunity only to be knocked sideways by an unexpected challenge, discomfort, or difficulty, stop and take a breath, then look that sucker in the eye. What strength or gain is standing beyond it, just for you? Is it worth it to press through that mucky part to stand in the sun? If so, keep going. Endure. Screw up your courage. Be gentle with yourself. And most importantly, do that hard-but-leading-to-awesomeness thing. I don't think you'll regret it.

p.s. If you need a little support, perhaps my mini e-course, Your Fearless Year 2016, might be of some help? Get it for just $10 USD with discount code BEFEARLESS16.

An Exciting Announcement! {Giveaway CLOSED}

January 15, 2016

UPDATE: The giveaway is now closed. Congrats to Melissa G., the winner! You'll be contacted shortly. And thank you so much to everyone who participated! If you'd like to register for Spectrum 2016, head over to THIS LINK. The course is open for registration AND $10 off until February 3rd!

And! If finances are prohibitive, Hali is offering a limited number of need-based scholarships. If you'd like to apply, head over HERE and scroll to the bottom of the page.

Again, thanks so much to everyone who participated in the giveaway! I'd love to see you all in the Spectrum classroom in May, getting our holistic, healing creativity on together.

I have some exciting news to share today: I am going to be a guest teacher in Spectrum 2016 this year -- and I have 1 spot to give-away here at my blog as part of the Give-Away Blog-Hop!

Spectrum is an online Holistic-Creative workshop going on its third year, and organized by Hali Karla of Hali Karla Arts. Spectrum 2016 will be guided by 20 NEW featured teachers and more than 20 returning contributors offering a variety of workshops, inspiration and invitations - all intended to empower, nurture and celebrate your innate creative expression, healing journey, and personal development!

There will be weekly inspiration & reflective activities related to mixed-media art-making and journaling, guidance on integrating your creative process and holistic awareness into your day-to-day life, and a variety of opportunities to connect, support and share with others in the growing Holistic-Creative online community.

The themes that will loosely guide our 2016 Spectrum experience are Forgiveness, Shifting Perspective, Navigating Uncertainty, Integration, Alchemy, Connecting with Nature, Honoring Body, Trusting Joy, and Expressing One’s Truth! You can expect a variety of perspectives on these -- and so much more.

To learn more about the details, including all of the contributors and workshop offerings for this course CLICK RIGHT HERE.

The workshop I'm contributing to Spectrum is called Empowering Yourself Through Creativity. Here's what we'll be exploring:

Are you ready to reclaim your power, inner strength, and courage? In this workshop, we will dive into writing and movement exercises to help you tap back into the wild nature that resides within you, powerful and untamed even in the face of all this world has thrown at you. You will learn tips on how to find your words, unleash your voice, and trust your intuition -- all while having a damn good time and creating some luscious poetry.

And don't let the word "poetry" scare you -- we'll be tackling the process in a wholly accessible and empowering manner so that even the rustiest, most dubious non-writer will find herself staring down in wonder at a fresh poem penned by her own hand. Get ready to (re)introduce yourself to your empowered self.

Pre-registration for Spectrum 2016 officially opens on February 1, 2016 (and the program will begin on May 2). So be sure to bookmark this page (or link) so that you can check back to see if you win the giveaway here or sign up just as soon as it goes on sale.

About the Give-Away:

Like I mentioned, I have one spot for Spectrum 2016 to give-away to a lucky winner in our January blog-hop - but if you follow the blog-hop list below, you will have an even better chance of winning a spot by entering the other give-aways as well.

All of the new teachers are playing along -- and quite a few of the returning contributors volunteered to join in the fun, too -- so there are over 30 chances to win a free pass!

To enter the giveaway, enter your email in the form below, then click the blue button that says "Go!" and you are good to go!

Enter the giveaway!

You'll also receive a complimentary copy of 31 Days of Writing Wild. Win!

For a bonus entry, share this link on social media, then comment on this post to let me know that you've done so.

I will announce the winner of my free Spectrum pass here on February 1, 2016 -- the same day pre-registration opens for Spectrum 2016!

Just below is a list of the other teachers who are playing along in the Spectrum 2016 blog-hop, with the dates their give-away goes live -- so be sure to visit their site and enter there, as well:

13 January:
Hali Karla http://www.halikarla.com/blog/

14 January:
Andrea Schroeder http://www.creativedreamincubator.com/blog
Angelique Arroyo http://schoolformedicinewomyn.com/

15 January:
Bebe Butler http://www.bebebutler.com/
Beth Morey http://www.sheofthewild.com/

16 January:
Briana Goetzen http://www.orangespiralarts.com/
Carissa Paige http://carissapaige.blogspot.com/

17 January:
Cat Caracelo http://catcaracelo.com/
Catherine Anderson http://catherineandersonstudio.blogspot.com/

18 January:
Chris Zydel http://creativejuicesarts.com/
Effy Wild http://effybird.com/

19 January:
Elloa Atkinson http://www.elloaatkinson.com/
Grace Howes http://www.redbarn-studios.com/

20 January:
Gretchen Miller http://www.gretchenmiller.wordpress.com/
Kara LC Jones http://motherhenna.blogspot.com/

21 January:
Kelly Johnson http://www.wingswormsandwonder.com/
Kitty Oppegard http://handoverheartstudios.blogspot.com/

22 January:
Kristal Norton http://kristalnorton.com/
Lisa Hofmann http://dandelionseedsanddreams.blogspot.com/

23 January:
Lisa Wilson http://www.beingbreath.com/
Lucy Pearce http://dreamingaloud.net/

24 January:
Malini Parker http://www.maliniparker.com/
Meghan Genge http://www.meghangenge.com/

25 January:
Melissa Harris http://www.melissaharris.com/
Michelle Turbide http://michelleturbidestudios.com/

26 January:
Petrea Hansen-Adamidis http://www.arttherapist.ca/blog
Rachael Rice http://rachaelrice.com/

27 January:
Robin Hallett http://www.robinhallett.com/
Shelley Klammer http://intuitivecreativity.typepad.com/

28 January:
Suki Ciappara Ka'Pinao http://sukihealingarts.com/
Tara Leaver http://taraleaver.com/

Enjoy the blog-hop, good luck on the give-aways, and I hope to see you in Spectrum in a few months!

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