Caught


My blogging has been slowing down these past few weeks.  Writing has become very difficult.  I just don't want to do it.  I suppose that part of it is that I just don't feel like I have anything worth saying at the moment.  I feel like I am caught between hope and fear.  It is a difficult place to live.

But since Eve died, something interesting has happened within me.  In the past, I would try to flee this challenging place, immersing myself in escapism.  Now, however, I want to stay present.  I am determined that God use everything for good.  The grief, the confusion, the anxiety, the anger, the terror, the tenuous hope -- everything.

Even though this place is uncomfortable, I know that there are lessons to be learned here.  Important ones.  Perhaps even the most important ones.

So, even though I have not been blogging, I have been pressing in.  Pressing into God.  Trying to trust when everything around and within me screams that trust is useless.  This is the best thing that I can do, and so I try.
"Peter replied, 'Master, to whom would we go? You have the words of real life, eternal life. We've already committed ourselves, confident that you are the Holy One of God.'"

~ John 6:68-69

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