On a Whine and a Prayer

Good news -- today I felt good enough to take a shower, do some sweaty exercise, and even head to Barnes and Noble with the Best Husband Ever to blog and read! But while I was mostly pain/nausea/diarrhea-free, I also felt emotionally distressed. Somehow in the past month or so I've managed to gain a load of weight. I must be the only Crohn's person to ever gain weight once diagnosed, since one of the symptoms of Crohn's can be extreme weight/malnourishment.

Except not with me, apparently. I'm trying to be okay with that, given my eating disordered past. But I feel fat. Glad to not be pooping up a storm (for the moment), but also fat.

I'm not sure why this has happened. I suspect that a combination of disturbed eating patterns, a possibly slowing metabolism, and extended couch-dwelling are to blame. I'm normally uber-active, but today was the first time I've felt well enough to exercise since Friday. That's three days without exercise! For a girl who could not managed to take one rest day a week for a couple of years, that's mind-blowing. And it makes me feel yucky.

I'm not sure where this post is going, to be honest. It's another walk on the whiny side, I'm afraid. But I also wanted to share where I'm at, physically and emotionally.

When I can, I peel myself off the couch. Going for walks freaks me out, so I mostly keep my exercise indoors with my collection of workout DVDs. Hooping makes me nauseous, but in spite of that it's still quite fun. Can you tell in this video? Crohn's or not, I can still get my white girl dance on.

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